I never understood the “No Regrets” phase .. I saw girls scream it out while throwing their cosmos in the air, I see it tattooed on wrists, backs and chests of mostly people who were brought up in the 90’s era.
For me, I never believed it.. I call bullshit on the whole thing, because for one.. I can list off a number of mistakes I have regrets about.
So for everyone who can sometimes feel the same way with a conscious that sends your mind into overload – I’m going to let you know that I’ve been there. I would say we all have but I also know there will be some head strong ‘free as a bird’, yolo phrase loving individuals who will swear they really don’t have regrets.
So here it is, another little insight of my life to hopefully help people remember we are all human beings, as fucking messed up as one can get, someone else is right there with you.
1. Living your life on the verge of alcohol poisoning –
Well well well, it isn’t a surprise that I don’t handle my alcohol. But for 2 years I made some of the best memories with my Airlie family. We drank, we laughed, we danced and we made fools of ourselves with a little less dignity.
Unfortunately some of these times ended up with regretful nights or mornings of disappointing other people. It could have been your best friend who you got into an argument with, it could have been missing out on seeing a guy you were looking forward to catching up with only for him to later see you in the worst possible state or the biggest mistake – losing motivation to get my life sorted with study, exams, assignments or work shifts. I went from living a life of strict health, control and isolation; to a world of the drinking town with a sailing problem.
Working hospitality can come with serious addictions to let loose when we finally get to the other side of the bar.
We all do crazy shit after a few shots, there will always be someone with a camera and you might not remember most of it. You may feel like a mess with judgement coming down on you like a tonne of bricks, but who hasn’t been in that state? When it comes to the relationships you have, people will forgive you. But you may not always forgive yourself.
When you’re surrounded by this, it is hard to break the fun away from friends – but don’t get stuck in a damaging lifestyle. If you want to play hard, work harder.
2. – Not taking that opportunity..
You may have passed up on some volunteer work, because you needed to pay bills. You could have quit an industry with a stable career handed to you. You may have been convinced to stay in a relationship because love feels better than working your arse off for your employer and after all ‘it’s only a job, we can always go back.’ – Not always. I’ve done all of the above and I’m not sure if I regret it but I could have made smarter choices.
My mishaps could be having an impulsive urge to quit, booking a trip away and coming back home to no job, no footstep into the door and back to serving alcohol 7 nights a week or two part time jobs.
I think when it comes to our own career choices – there is passion – the love for your own ambition and chasing what may seem impossible, and the mixture of what you think is ‘right’ – this may be what your family or friends want to persuade is right and a built up pressure from yourself of being successful. Before other people tell you that you’ve lost it all, and criticise your choice – remember that today, it is a lot harder to survive – and you are doing the best you can to stay ahead while continuing to move forward.
I’ll be the first to admit I could have done a lot of things differently, and for those who know me, my career is a massive part of who I am. I took a big break from my goals to get my happiness back on track – I know a lot of people who have, but you’ll notice people who made that choice, whether it was a regret or not – they’ll be the ones who come back better than ever.
“What are you doing with your life?”.. It’s a surprise.
3. – Remember that time you were seeing… shut your mouth
I’m sure we have all been there. This mistake is probably one that is better remembered over a bottle of wine and a lot of laughing. Whether you’re a guy or a fellow chick, we’ve had some fucked up flings. They were crazy, we were crazy, someone was always naive and the other too arrogant. Speaking of which, less than 24 hours of living in Brisbane and one of those regrets from 5 years ago decided to send me a superlike on Tinder..
No thaaaanks. You can skip right along.
4 – Not spending enough time with family –
For the first time in 6 years I moved back closer to my family, but I didn’t see them as much as I wish I did. With all our own lives moving ahead or the busy days in which we forgot to take a step back from, I hardly saw them. I should have took more days off work, I should have made more of the effort to drive a short 2 hours and I should have been around them more. Now I’m further away.
That is a regret I can’t or won’t justify. It isn’t a regret ok to have.
5 – Failing Uni courses
University was one of the most toughest times for me. I’m not a good student. I think I shocked the family when I decided to study. I was indecisive then impulsive. I thought I’ll make everyone happy and proud of me if I went off to uni. To be honest when I was first out of school, I wasn’t ready. At 17 years old and inexperienced of the world, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I loved the idea of the future employment – at the time I just wanted to work with animals and care for animals and play with all the animals in the world. I was always a hard worker and as I’ve said before I gained my work ethic from my parents. But study is a whole other ball game. Hundreds of dollars on books, accomodation and stationary, while trying to not fall asleep in a boring as hell lecture. There were very few classes that kept my interest at university. I felt incapable of being successful.
The worst feeling is everybody elses expectations of you succeeding at uni. Majority of university students have failed at least one or two courses. STATS had an 80% failure rate. (Yep, I was one of them).
I began with one degree then transferred to another. 8 years since leaving highschool, it took to finally complete and graduate. I transferred, I failed, I quit. Now I look back at it, I could have done a lot dissimilarly. I regret not studying longer, I regret letting my personal life drive away my responsibility and I regret giving up 60% of the time. But regardless of that, I got there.
I was mentoring young girls at a school through a science program about Women in the Science industry. Most of my speech was about allowing yourself to be realistic, work hard and give yourself time. Whether it takes 3 years or 10 years – you’ll reach your goal.
If you are studying, or thinking about studying – please remember it is ok to go at your own pace. If you happen to skip out on passing a course, don’t let bad results disenheart you, let it be your motivation. The only person you need to keep sane, and proud, is yourself. It will be difficult at times, but defenitely worth it.
6 – Spending your life savings each week –
Story of my life – I use to think I was great at saving – but when you go from a heavy pay check – to struggling with the casual part time jobs you now have – funds are low and your spending habit is high. If there is one thing I am jealous of, it is people who have the ability to save money. Now I won’t claim to be high maintenance and a big spender, but what I am is irresponsible – don’t worry that is changing.
I may have accumulated bills – only for it to obviously triple because I was too lazy to just pay it at the start. Dinner out with friends, spending more money on other people than I probably should (I don’t mind that), moving alot, taxi fares, seafood platters, clothes I never wear – it all adds up. I was never ok with money, I borrowed and I was owed too.
Living the paradise lifestyle on limited pay in sunshine really took its toll on me. Everytime I tried to save to move on, there would be another bill, and less shifts through our quiet seasons at work. 2017 will be the year of budgeting and seeing a financial planner.
7- Not giving someone a chance –
Girl meets guy, they hang out – mutual interest – and surprising enough, they are both decent level headed people. Girl suddenly drops off the face of the planet.
To this day it still is a bit of a mystery to why I have let this happen. I get so caught up in my own world – I focus too much on the future and where I need to be rather than enjoying anything at the time. But where has that left me? Here. I’m fine, great actually. But that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t have been if I let my guard down – I could still be great, but with someone who actually loves everything about me.
A girlfriend of mine always says “I’m not going out on any dates, guys are shit.” – My advice – lower your expectations of someone, we are all human. I’m not perfect, you’re not perfect. No one will be the perfect person, and you can’t expect them to. (She is still wanting to prove me wrong on that one)
Girls, if he is a decent man, learn to break away from your independence and expectations. Stop complaining that no one is interested. There most likely is – you just need to stop expecting the grass to be greener somewhere else. Because you may miss out on someone pretty fucking amazing. (That goes for all the guys complaining too)
With plenty of mistakes we can learn to value the lessons that they come with. Make one mistake, make it twice or just keep making it until you realise what it is that you really want out of life.
Regret comes with a ripple effect – so try not be too harsh on anyone that has made a misguided act by you. Instead, be that underlying support they’ll appreciate and thank later. We all make mistakes – but at the end of the day, what gets us through it is the people that surround us and hold our hands until the moment of self doubt has passed.